Obsessions
by AAnimeLoverr29
Summary: True forms of obsessions in different ways. The true meaning of love isn't as pure as it seems. It drives people to change in drastic ways. When Allen experiences the true form of the emotion, the true emotion that appears before him is obsession.


Love is poison

Her hair was black but also like an emerald. It glistened a dark shade of green whenever I looked at her. I always wanted to just feel the light strands between my fingertips. Style it the way I felt fit. The way I desired. In ways that would simply complement her face and all of her features. Everybody else notices the same way I do. And hidden behind long eyelashes, her eyes dramatically contrast against her hair. Yet it only enhances her beauty. When she talks I can't help but look into those deep amethyst pools that are somehow passed off as eyes. Amethyst, Greek for intoxication, correct? Makes sense for I've never seen anything like it before in my life. Now tell me that isn't and contrasting mix. Yet it's like travelling into another world. I always get lost. Her skin brings forth the image of pale flakes falling from the sky. Ivory skin that only should exist among angels, a white rose holds no comparison.

If she was a seductress then she's already caught her prey. If she was Aphrodite herself, then I'm already under her spell. Those pools excused for eyes suck you in and steal your soul. Steal your energy like a succubus. It's always hard for me to respond whenever she speaks as I feel like she is exhaling a mist that numbs all my senses. Distracting yourself would never work as she is perfect in every way. Your eyes would be drawn to her. I can't find a single flaw whenever I want to. Whenever I need to.

I look at her skin and melt. I look into her eyes and shudder. I look at her hair and freeze. Altogether, I look at her and become paralyzed by her beauty. Beauty that is forbidden hence should not be allowed to exist.

Eyes that pierce you very being that are literally a gateway to her soul, yet manage to penetrate and look into yours as well. If I ever manage to pull my eyes away from hers, her lips grasp at the chance to suck me into another trance. Flushed and full. Nothing like a rose yet so much better. It's a comparison against her skin. I can't help but stare at the taboo existence in front of me smiling majestically as if it is innocent when it in fact is far from. There is no way that she could be human, mortal. I am always left wondering. Could she be al fallen angel, or a Lilith? Two different beings but both powerful.

Guess I know where that pick up line comes from.

Venus must have it out for me. All I know is that it hurts. Lust is and emotion but love is worse in my opinion. It's more ruthless and is not fulfilled. It only brings pain with every passing second. I actually understand everything said about love. I actually understand what people say now. Everything displayed. It's a nasty emotion. One that poisons your system and slowly eats at your heart like a parasite until you can't take it anymore. It eats at your heart that the whatever ice wall that you have built and surrounded it with is melted away. I feel like I'm obsessed. Like I've grown this obsession that I never asked fall and never wanted. I've never been in love. Never even experienced a _crush_, that's why I want these feelings to just be a craving that would soon disappear like any other one.

I was simply the lonely pianist. She was the sly vixen.

This emotion of loved became flooded with obsession till, like a glass cup filled with liquid, it overflowed. Whereas this liquid wasn't pure. It was black, Like tar. It Drowned me. Drowned me into a hollow space and left me like a faux cup. It left me looking pure while I had poison within me. Poison that could never be cured. Seeing her with someone else made me feel sick. Seeing her with someone else left me to madness. Without reason, my heart was ripped in half. Along with my soul. I remember the feeling that night as if I was still screaming out in agony right now. I can describe every little detail. Every little stab of pain. The way I changed. The way a distant part of me, that should never have been able to exist, woke up. My heart felt like finally couldn't take the pressure and weight of my regret that it finally snapped... Snapped and stopped the process of pumping pure blood through my body. Have you ever had that? Have you ever just screamed out in pain at feeling your heart literally stretched then snapping in two?

I drowned in a crimson sea of my own blood. Then the vines. Sharp thorns that wrapped around the two pieces and wove them together. Sharp thorns that pierced into the already fragile flesh tightly forcing blood to pour from the wounds and the thorns poisoned tip to enter. A rose by any other name…should smell as sweet.

I remember the feeling of pain turning to pleasure.

Of love turning to hatred. And of a martyr turning to a murderer. That's the true form of love. I had lost every strand of my sanity. My love was poisoned, mutilated and turned to poison into something far more dangerous than just lust. Far more dangerous that any emotion. I didn't want her.

I needed her.

My blood had turned black with poison miasma coursing through my veins. Whenever I look in a mirror I smile. Traces of my old self remained only for me to see in the other world that is called a mirror. A mirror reflects your true self but you see other forms. You're past selves. I wasn't the same person any more. That was now just a split personality that was in a deep slumber that would never wake up. Could never wake up as I wouldn't allow it. He was weak. That wasn't me.

Was it?

My skin was still almost like hers as a light ivory, but, it need more colour. My eyes had become hollow voids that to me reflected death. An unusual silver that needed more colour. Only she could give me that colour. I feel locked away in my own mind that enjoyed replaying only images of hers, yet, I still couldn't be with her. Because of other people. I could feel the salty liquid for and escape from the corners of my eyes. The bitter salt taste lingered on my tongue. My mind enjoyed this game. Enjoyed it as I licked my Lips at the new copper taste. It sent a wave of pleasure throughout my body. I used to be different didn't I. I would never have dreamt of doing such a thing. I would never have even thought about it, but now It seemed right. Now I was happier. Today I was filled with adrenaline. Dirty, but clean at the same time. I used to be called a martyr, right? Now look at me. Look what I've turned into. She caused this. She poisoned me. She killed me and brought me back to life.

She killed my old self and she created this new one. This one that was fuelled by obsession and insanity.

She created this desperate sadist. Sickly sweet, isn't it. She showed me the true meaning of love by intoxicating me.

Turn a corner. Climb a fence. Land in the snow. Scream for help. Yet still so beautiful she pretended that she was scared but was enjoying this as much as I was. My hands were so sticky and red. Had been plunged into dirt. But that was to save her.

Then she slowed down and gasped for air. Her pretend fear had paralysed her. She was frozen in place pretending to hide. Doing a bad job at it. She couldn't . She was like an angel glowing among the dark maze. He skin was radiating before my eyes. I embraced it. Embraced her, doing all the things that my desire led me to dream about. Everything that I wanted to do. The sounds of sirens were ignored. It was just me and her. I escaped the cold and cruel world by being with her. I was with her again. My princess. My angel. Ironic that she wore white today. As if she was truly a descendant. She was beautiful. I couldn't resist. My fingers nimbly brushed away stray strands of her hair away from her eyes and I ignored the expression on her face. I ignored the way her body shivered under my touch.

If hair be wires, then black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damasked, red and white, but no such roses I see on her cheeks. Why? Because of someone else. Because of a mangled corpse?

My fingers stopped at her cheek then I smiled at the slick red trail that I had dragged across her face. The colour. The colour that I desired.

"Why? She asked. Her voice was strained and scared probably from screaming but she still sounded melodious. She was a good actress. Was still trembling. I didn't answer. I cupped her face and stared into those voids and saw only me within them. Just as I wanted all this time. Only me.

I wanted so much more though.

Just one. Just one kiss. Just one kiss at least. That would satisfy my hunger for now at least. She didn't let me. She roughly shoved me back screaming again. Pearls rolled down the sides of her face before she ran screaming for help. An expression that I hated ,but I hated it more this time. They weren't for me.

Why did you kill them she cried? I felt sick. Anger bubble up inside me. Them? She would cry for the and not me. I had suffered a whole lot more and she would cry for them and not me. I had done everything for her. A smile snaked onto my face and I realised what had actually happened within me. My other self-blinded me. Managed to control me. Never again. I followed quickly just like before, It was easy to see her. She was glowing. Still playing with me. I ran after her, deeper into the maze. The perfect place. A romantic spot as they call it. The sirens were getting louder. Footsteps echoing. It didn't matter. Just me and her. Me and my tainted angel that I would purify as she would purify me.

It was a beautiful death. Longer than the other ones. I wanted to prolong it. The sacred expression on her face. The sweet melodious chime of her voice. The fluid movements on her skin. I wanted to prolong it all. She screamed, cried. But for once, it was for me. My very essence was dirty like a living corpses but she actually purified me. Purified both of us. Ivory skin both, finally had colour. Clothes were clean. Everything was pure again in my eyes. I stared at her sleeping form and flt better. Felt complete. Empty kills were nothing. Now I was complete. Because I was finally with her. I stared at the clean knifes jaggered edge and back at her. Her blood had cleaned everything. The knife was clean with her blood.

Cops. Lots of cops. All shocked at the beautiful scene before me. I wouldn't get to paint the majestic work of art. Wouldn't be able to compose a song to match it. Still, it was worth it. I turned back to her body and traced by red clean hand across her cheek. I Ignored them. They didn't matter. Her lips were still a ripe flush of rose pink. Just like before she sucked me in. Then I leaned in. My first kiss with her. Her first kiss too. I just know it. It was sweet. Fresh and luscious. Full of passion. This angel sinned by falling in love. Her love poisoned her beloved. Even if she pretended that she didn't love me. I knew it. The voids were closed from me as she was already in her precious world but I would be joining her. My lips separated from the sleeping beauty and I smiled. The tip of a gun barrel was on the side of my head just waiting for the barrel to snap into position. I smiled into the kiss. This way would be together forever. My finger snapped it place and I smiled hearing the loud burst from the firearm that I held to my head. No doubt…I would be together with my angel forever. My thoughts repeated.

Everyone believes that love is simple and free

Nobody knows its true hidden meaning but me.

Love is poison and only a few might know

No remedy but an obsession that eats you out, slow


End file.
